Q: What is the worst vegetable to have on a ship?
A: A leek
Q: If you are allergic to pineapples are you allergic to pine needles?
A: Nope. Just pineapples
Q: What's wide at the bottom, narrow at the top and has ears?
A: A mountain with mountaineers
Q: Why did the football team go to the bank?
A: To get their quarterback
Q: What do you call a wizard from outer space that can fly?
A: A flying sorcerer
Q: Where do generals keep their armies?
A: Up their sleevies
Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: So, what's your point?
Q: What do you call when your parachute doesn't open?
A: Jumping to a conclusion
Q: Why are opera singers, good sailors?
A: Because they can handle the seas
Q: What do you get if a cement crashes into a jail?
A: Hardened criminals
Q: Why did Frankenstein's monster get indigestion?
A: He bolted down his food
Q: Where do sailors take their baths?
A: In a tub-marine
Q: Why did mon test the bath water before putting silly billy in?
A: To prevent sun-burn
Q: With what two animals you always go to bed?
A: Two calves
Q: What is the smallest bridge in the world?
A: The bridge of your nose
Q: What is good for your bold head?
A: Some hair
Q: What is bought by the yard and worn by the foot?
A: Carpet
Q: Why did the jelly roll?
A: It saw the apple turn over
Q: When is a man like a snake?
A: When he gets rattled
Q: What does a stone become when in the water?
A: Whet-stone
